Help! I have a Picky Eater

This is the first in a series covering topics in pediatric feeding.

If your child is a “picky eater,” you’re not alone. Picky eating seems to be a rite of passaged in childhood. Ask most parents, and they will tell you that at least one of their children is, or was, a picky eater. Statistically speaking, upwards of 60% of children go through a picky eating phase lasting a few months or longer. This is most common between the ages of 2-6 years. Feeding therapy is an option if your child truly has abnormal or problem eating behaviors (which will be covered in a later post), but if your little one is a member of the picky eating club, you may feel frustrated and helpless.

As a feeding therapist, and a mom of a few picky kiddos myself, I can offer some sound advice for dealing with the picky eating phase, and coming out on the other side without too much stress.

1. Stop the name calling! Telling a child, or others within earshot that he is “picky,” or a “bad eater” can become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy. Instead, make positive comments when the child agrees to try something new, or eats a food they have been refusing.
2. Variety is the spice of life. Continue to offer a variety of fruits and vegetables, carbohydrates, and proteins in a positive, encouraging way, even if the child refuses. Continued exposure is important to keep them from becoming even more restricted. Some research suggests exposure between 10-30 times before a child will willingly eat a food.
3. Who’s in charge here? There are only a few things children can control, and one of them is what goes in their belly! Allowing them to feel some control over what (and how much!) they eat will often result in the loosening of their restrictive habits a bit. Choices are key here! Offer two acceptable choices such as “Would you like cheese or ranch with your broccoli,” or “Do you want 3 or 5 green beans?” I have had parents that are concerned that this is too much control for a child. This is almost a topic within itself, but, shouldn’t we teach our children that they ARE in charge of their own bodies?
4. Get them involved From the garden and the grocery store, to cooking in the kitchen, kids love to help. This also gives them more opportunity to interact with new foods and make more of those sought-after choices.
5. Redefine “Try it” Feeding therapists know that there are many steps from plate to mouth, and even from mouth to stomach. “Try it” may mean licking, or biting, the foods, but not yet eating them. The more times a child tastes a food, the more likely they are to accept it. But I know from experience, that if you force a child to eat something they will not learn to like it as a result. Likely, they will learn to avoid it, thus making the problem worse. Taking away the pressure to “eat it all” will reduce the refusals, as they feel more comfortable doing something else with the food, and working up to eating it across time.
6. Practice what you preach You are your child’s most trusted model. If you eat a variety of foods in front of them, and display a positive, healthy attitude toward foods, they will learn to have a more positive attitude themselves.

Parenting is hard, and having a child who has difficulty with mealtimes can add significant stress. If you have concerns that go beyond typical picky eating, speak with your pediatrician, or family doctor, and ask for a referral to a Speech-Language Pathologist specializing in pediatric feeding. Follow Bright Ideas Speech Therapy for more pediatric feeding information, and watch for the next post, which will tackle red flags and warning signs for a pediatric feeding disorder, and when to seek help. Happy eating!